Some movies convey a certain sense of epicness. The Harry Potter series is one of them. HP6 will, at about 20mins into the film, give you a complete and utter sense of epic fail.

It was a good book, yknow. It would have made a great movie. Unfortunately, the producers and whatnot decided to write their own script because, after all, JK Rowling might have written a great novel but she simply does not know how to write books for movie adaptations. Noob.

I can imagine them now--

Scriptwriter walks in holding HP6.

SW: "Okay, right, so I've analyzed the book and I think we need to talk about Horcruxes, Snape, and Voldemort, we really need to focus on his characterization, especially because he's a pivotal character in the boo--"

Yates: "We need kissing scenes."

SW: "Uh there's already a kissing scene but I really feel that we should spend more time on Voldemort's past--"

Yates: "Only one?"

SW: "Actually we should remove tha--"

Yates: "We need MOAR KISSING SCENES!"

SW: "But they really aren't very importan--"

Yates: "MOAR MOAR MOAR KISSEZ"

SW: "What about the Horcruxes?"

Yates: "Do they kiss?"

SW: "Uh...not exactly..."

Yates: "We can remove them then. And remove Voldemort, too. Or can we make him kiss something?"

SW: "...I'll remove Voldemort."

Yates: "That's the spirit, my man."

Scriptwriter walks away.

And that, my friends, is how you end up with the atrocity that is HP6.



The movie begins with an impressive bridge-destroying and Ollivander-kidnapping scene, which raises expectations and sets the tone for a good, thrilling, movie.

Next follows 2 hours of kissing.

The scene then changes to Dumbledore in Voldemort's Horcrux's hiding place. He sees a random basin of water and decides to drink it, just in case there's something at the bottom.

Dumbledore: "This potion must be drunk. Even though I don't know yet that there's a Horcrux at the bottom, or that I can't actually just stick my hand in and, yknow, take it out."

He then proceeds to act like a baby refusing to eat dinner. Maybe if Harry made airplane noises with the potion cup...

Something else happens, and after a few minutes Snape tells everyone he is the Half Blood Prince, which would be very impressive if the movie had actually focused on developing the HBP theme instead of focusing on kissing.

Credits roll.

I am wandering around in a post-CTs daze and steadfastly not thinking about the fact that an A level is in 2 weeks' time.

I took an O level last year, damn you, why don't I get a break. Well fine I know that other people took millions of papers last year as opposed to my measly HCL, but in my defense, um.

I don't speak chinese?

Yeah anyway I'm done whining about the impending Alevel.

CTs were moderately promising, difficult, easy, and unpromising. Not in that order. Go try to figure out which adjective is related to which. Suffice to say that I really hope I do well...what's new.
I wish for that every year.